Thursday, March 22, 2007

Don't kill that sheep!!!

A public service report by Dr. Harmless!

Hello fellow Gravyheads! After perusing the Brain Gravy whiteboard, and some intense internet research, I have found some very bizarre and strange sex laws that involve not only different countries of the world, but different states in our own country here in the United States! As a public service to you, our dear listeners and readers, I feel it my duty to make you aware of these laws, lest you find yourself someday in some Turkish prison walking a circle and talking unintelligibly the rest of your life!

Now mind you, if, after reading this report, and still decide to continue to break the law, try to do it discretely. If you can't do it discretely, then at least take pictures or, even better video and/or audio, and send it to!

So, without further warning, here are some very strange laws countries (including our own!) have concerning sex:

-In many Middle Eastern countries it is prohibited to eat the sheep you had sex with. A person who decided to eat this sheep is making a deadly sin, and he will never get into paradise with 70 virgins.

-In Lebanon having half of population Christians, men are officially allowed to have sex with animals. Yet, an important restriction is applied: the animal must be female. For sex with male animals death penalty can be imposed.

-In Indonesia a person will be executed if he/she masturbated.

-In Bahrain a man-gynecologist can have patient’s examination only by seeing the genitals’ image in the mirror.

-In Guam, the island in the Pacific owned by the USA, there are specialists called defloration-makers. Such a specialist goes around the island and deprives females of virginity for a certain fee. A virgin cannot get married in Guam. A defloration-maker is the most exotic profession in the world, but this specialist is unlikely to move up the career ladder…

-In Hong Kong a woman cheated by her husband is allowed to kill him, but only with bare hands, use of weapons is not permitted. As for her husband’s mistress, the wife is allowed to kill her by any means.

-In Columbia, in town Kali a woman is allowed to have sex only with her husband. The bride’s mother has the role of an eye-witness and she is required to be next to the spouses during their very first sexual intercourse.

-In Bolivia, in town Santa-Krus a man is not allowed to have sex with a woman simultaneously.

Here in the United States, we have some strange laws as well concerning sex (so we can't go around saying how bizarre the REST of the world is concerning strange sex laws!):

-In Arizona keeping more than two dildos at home is prohibited.

-In Colorado there is a ban on kissing a woman who sleeps.

-In Connecticut, in the town of Hartford, a man is forbidden from kissing his wife on Sunday.

-In Florida only the position “man on top” is legally allowed, and it is not allowed to kiss woman’s bust during sexual intercourse, In Massachusetts a woman is not allowed to have the position of “woman on top” in sex as well.

-In Minnesota sex with birds is strictly prohibited.

-In Ohio women are not allowed to wear lacquered shoes because they underwear can be seen on their “mirror” surface.

So there you have it! And remember, if you find yourself screwing a sheep in the Middle East, please, please, don't eat it afterwards! Do yourself a favor, and offer the sheep a cigarette and some chocolates, and walk away slowly! We don't want to lose any of our faithful Gravyheads!!!

Until next time, this has been a public service report by Dr. Harmless!

1 comment:

BuBBy said...

We really need to pimp this thing more!