From the files of "The Drunken Dr. Recommends..."
For those of you male listeners of our BrainGravy podcast, and were, for some reasons beyond my comprehension, curious about using a coffee stirrer to, um, stimulate yourself, I feel that, as a doctor, it is my duty to provide you with alternatives to using the stirrer, because, as you know from listening to the podcast, if said stirrer is lost in the urethra, it can lead to some unpleasant, and even "member"-threatening circumstances. Therefore, I would like to present some "alternatives" that might be a tad safer, depending on your point of view (with thanks to a friend of BrainGravy for pointing out this particular website). Let me reiterate that I neither endorse nor condone the following, but feel a moral and medical obligation to point out these alternatives.
Let me begin by saying that if you would prefer to peruse the website yourself, you can click here or here. Mind you, these are just two of an overwhelming number of internet site choices. I am here to focus only on urethral alternatives. The first choice is called the Single Urethral Sound. What is a urethral sound you might ask? Click here to link to the Wikipedia article. Essentially, a sound is the name given to the device used to probe the urethra, and, yes, there are real medical applications for such a device. But, like anything in our society, someone probably one day went to their Urologist, was examined using one of these sounds, thought it felt good, and decided when they went home they would continue the festivities as a self exam. And after telling his friends, well...I suppose the rest is history, as they say.
Now, getting back to the Rosebud Sound, it is given the following description: "Stimulate his urethra and give him memorable sexual pleasure with this Single Rose Bud Sound. These chrome-plated sounds go easily and smoothly into the urethra, thereby stretching it giving him great erotic pleasure. You can then slide them in and out causing great sensations. There are four urethral sounds that graduate in size: small (3 French), medium (5 French), large (7 French) and x-large (9 French)."
Now if you really want to go sound crazy, check out this section of the Medical Toys website. They offer a wide variety of sounds, including the Dittel, the Van Buren and Bakes sound sets. A customer review for the Dittel kit was as follows:
"Recently purchased a set of these sounds. The first set. Not the last. This set says 8-22 FR. Not correct. 18-32 FR are what is included. Trust me, a much better variety. This variety makes it easier for beginners to pick the correct size to start. I found that using the larger ones are easier. They are not as pointy. When negotiating the 'J' curve, a straight sound can tend to poke a little. The larger ones are less pointy and are much more comfortable. They really slide in a lot easier. They are heavy. Hold on to them. I have tried them alone and with a top. I would not advise being alone. It is harder to tell the correct angle that is needed. That can hurt. A top is important. When the sound reaches the prostate, the bottom might get a little squirmy. Feels that good. You know, being tide down would be better. Have fun. Be safe."
Moving on, the next alternative is the Corona Stimulator with Urethral Amplifier. Decorum prevents me posting a picture here (this is a family blogsite afterall). It is decribed as follows: "The Urethral Amplifier, the most important component of this stimulator, is inserted into the urethral cavity. The electro-stim is passed through outward toward the head of the cock. This creates heightened stim inside and out of the cock head, creating enlarged senses of stimulation. The secondary body of this stimulator is adjustable and covers the cock head. It also separates into a third body, the Urethral Amplifier. The primary and secondary bodies connect, and stimulate, at strategic points of the male g-spot (frenulum) and the secondary also stimulate the outer portion of the glans, which makes for complete coverage of the cockhead." Of course, you have to buy a separate electrical device for this little baby. A customer review was as follows:
"This is the single most amazing toy I have in my box! I am working up to fitting my partners cock in my urethral opening! Electro stimulation helps you achieve the most amazing orgasm, if people say you cant cum and piss at the same time, they are wrong. The only problem with this device is that your boss at work may not be too happy if he catches you using it in the work toilet!!!!!" Wow....
Ok...I think we've all had enough for now....keep reading this blog for other alternatives, as well as the answer to the question, "What is prostate milking?"
Until next time, this is Dr. Harmless signing off!